Articulations from the Extroverted Introvert

Without you- I am lost.
My life has significantly less meaning.
When I cannot stop my mind from wandering, I think of you.
(this happens constantly)

Some may think that it is not such a big deal,
or that I do not care.
 They are wrong.

We were so perfect together.
I never really thought we would have to say good-bye.
But I was wrong.

Never again will you be the reason for my smile when I wake up in the morning.
It hurts to think that we can never be in a picture together again.
Nothing can replace you in my heart.

But, what hurts the most?
That there’s nothing I can do about it now.

My dear, dear watch- how I miss you so!

…yeah. That’s awkward. I wasn’t sure what to write about and these seemed controversial enough that it may seem harder, causing me to get a better grade. That was the logic behing it, so I chose it. It isn’t good, and I can’t stand the conclusion (it came down to crunch time, leaving me with only ten minutes to write it). I threw a couple of Bible verses in there, we’ll see what my teacher thinks about that. Who knows? Just for fun (and because there was a request to see it) I’ll post it. Keep in mind that it looks slightly better on paper because the format is all messed up on here.

Gen Y- Putting the “Y” In “Why Not?”

Sex. The action has been around since the beginning of mankind. Different people have different stands on it, morally and ethically. The growing trend in Generation Y is to engage in sex outside of marriage, and more specifically, before the age of 18. More people in Generation Y have sex before marriage or in teenage years than all other previous generations and this can be largely attributed to their knowledge about sex. The amount of sex amongst teenagers has gotten out of control. Sex education is taught all across the country and, as the popular quote by Sir Francis Bacon says, “Knowledge is power.” Based on the growing number of sexually active teens there are in
America, clearly sex education is not serving its purpose, which is to prevent the amount of sexual activity before marriage.

Sex is a Growing Problem

Human bodies were made and intended to perform sex. During teenage years, hormones are heightened to outrageous levels, causing many teenagers to engage in risky sexual activity. TIME Magazine did a study about the sexual behavior of teenagers in a small town and they found that, “A little more than half the 1,000 students in the only high school are sexually active; the average age of initiation: 15 ½” (Wallis par. 1). This shows the amount of sex taking place at one high school, but the article went on to say that these statistics were typical among teens today. This is what is truly alarming; statistics such as these are often overlooked because of the sheer normality.

Multiple severe consequences can be a result of sex, and teen pregnancy is one of those consequences. “But, teen pregnancy, in itself, is not such a bad thing” (Mathewes-Green 89). This statement condones doing whatever is wanted and whenever it is wanted. The article goes on to explain in detail how young parents are healthier and are more energized with young children than people who decide to have children later in life. While there may be some benefits to childbearing at a younger age, the consensus remains- unwed teens should not have children. Because it is almost rare for teenagers to be married, except for a few cases, there should not be teen pregnancy. Teen pregnancy has very life altering effects on teen parents, as well as on their babies.

What America fails to see is how this directly affects them. “American teens lead the world in unwanted pregnancies” (qtd. in “Outlook” par. 26). Many people find that statistic relatively alarming, but assume it is not their problem. On the contrary, most teen mothers end up going on welfare within five years of becoming a parent. (National 82) This uses tax dollars. Not only does teen pregnancy use tax money, but also causes more families to live in poverty. Most teen mothers do not finish high school, let alone go to college. The children of teenagers have increased chances of becoming teen parents themselves. The cycle continues, causing more poverty in
America.

Parents Need to Take Responsibility

Parents can potentially make a significant impact on their teenagers. Unfortunately, there has been a lack in responsibility on behalf of parents. “We, as adults, should not be so surprised or shocked when we take a hard look at society today” (qtd. in “Outlook” par. 26) on teenagers’ casual attitude toward sex. It is often a topic parents do not want to talk about, and perhaps they feel as though they would do a bad job of it. No excuses work for this one, it is about time that parents step up to take on responsibility with their children.

Some parents feel that regardless of what they do or say, their teenagers are likely to engage in sexual intercourse. “Whether mothers feel uncomfortable with discussing sex did not have any impact on whether either 14-15-year-old males or females initiated sexual intercourse during the one year study period.” (Blum 20) While this may seem like a reason to give up trying, it does not make sense to leave adolescents to learn things by experiment. Maybe many teenagers will still want to do what they want to do. The question is not so much of how often it is talked about, but how it is talked about and what is said. If parents really talked to their teenagers about sex in a loving way, explaining the consequences of sex before marriage, and the rewards of waiting until marriage, some students may re-think their rash decisions regarding sexual activity.

Parenting is a difficult job, there is no question about it. Some parents probably do talk to their children about sex, but go about it in the wrong way. A constantly loving relationship between parents and their children generate have more positive results. “The more disapproving adolescents perceived their mother to be toward their engaging in sexual intercourse, the less likely they were to have sexual intercourse” (Blum 18). Perhaps parents talk to their children and do not get the results they want because they are either unclear or disrespectful. Of course, parents who explain what sex is, without explaining their thoughts on the matter, get no results. Parents that are overly strict and just yell “Don’t have sex!” will also not see positive results.

Knowledge is Power

The famous quote “Knowledge is power” is commonly used when having knowledge on a particular topic may be advantageous. In this case, knowing too much about the ways to prevent the consequences of sex outside of marriage can be detrimental, especially without knowing what makes the consequences so bad. In school, students are taught about birth control and condoms to help “protect” from sexual diseases and teen pregnancy. “Condoms, the only form of birth control purported to stop disease and the spread of STDs, don’t work. ‘Safe’ sex isn’t safe. And the epidemic of STDs is due in part to this overconfident reliance on condoms” (Meeker 206). Knowing so much about preventing the consequences of sex leaves some teens asking “Why not?” Once they know of the dangers, and then believe that they should not fear those dangers, nothing is stopping them.

Others disagree, claiming that teaching about the use of condoms has made a significant impact on the epidemic of STDs. “The last thing we need is the government promoting the idea that condoms do no good. This approach will undermine the gains we have made and result in more people with HIV and other sexually transmitted infections” (qtd. in Boonstra 203). What is not mentioned is the increase in the amount of sexually activity since condoms have been so widely available. In general, teens no longer think about the future and the effects certain decisions may have on their future. Instead, teens focus on instant gratification. By giving them condoms, this is condoned.

Biblically, it is against God’s design to have sex before marriage. There is such a thing as forgiveness and mercy because He is a loving God, however in the Bible it says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4) This is one of the reasons not to have sex before marriage, because we are called to “live a life worthy of the Lord” (Colossians 1:10). Even to those who do not believe in the Bible, sex before marriage causes problems. Pregnancy and STDs are just some of the possible consequences. Another consequence would be the distrust within a marriage when one person in the marriage has already had sex. Sex is no longer sacred in the marriage.

Conclusion

Whether for religious reasons or for the sake of a future spouse, Generation Y should learn to truly ask the question “Why not?” in a manner that focuses on what can potentially occur before engaging in sexual activity. There needs to be a more thought out decision about sex and its consequences. Knowledge is power, but it is up to Generation Y to have the power to make a wise decision.

At approximately 11:38 p.m. October 26, 2006 a death of one of my most prized possessions occured. My most wonderful watch, who had no real name, has been a friend of mine for a very long time. In fact, that watch and I have been together longer than I have been friends with most of you. I had that watch longer than the time I spent in half of the schools I was once enrolled in.  I had that watch longer than I have ever dated anyone. I had that watch longer than I have ever had any watch before it. It was one of my favorite things of all time (no pun intended).  If there was a fire, I would have saved it. If there was a rainstorm, I would have protected it. I loved that watch.

It was born (or bought) on July 2, 2004, the day before we went to Challenge of 2004. “Get a watch!” Brandon said, and that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. It was one that no one my age had anything similar to. Nothing could compare. It was only $6, even after tax. It had a gorgeous pink front with a picture of lizzie mcguire and the digital display of the time, always three minutes fast. At one push of a button it flashed the date, which was ever so helpful to me throughout high school.  Days, weeks, months, even years after purchasing it I received comments on it’s “adorable-ness” and “cute-ness” Just last week someone said it was my “trademark,” which made me smile that someone would remember something as small as my watch. I wore it everyday and am utterly lost without it.

At one time in my life I thought that it was gone and lost forever. I hoped to one day see it again. This happened just a week or so before traveling to Belize in 2005. At my trip to Target to get all my necessities for that trip I discovered an exact replica of my beloved watch! The only difference between the two was four minutes- for it was a total of seven minutes fast. Later that summer, thankfully I found  the other one and had two for the next year or so. Sadly, the other one passed away a couple of months ago in an unfortunate turn of events when I was putting it on one sad morning. Target no longer carries these watches because lizzie mcguire is no longer on television anymore. When I found this out I started to stress. The only way I moved past it was with the help of the original watch with me at all times.

My watch, oh how I miss it already and it hasn’t even been a full day. Oh, it is just so terrible! Now, I am sure you are all anxious to hear about the last few moments with my dear watch. As I was sliding it off my wrist as I walked to my bed it snapped, causing the beads to fly in every direction. In the darkness I looked down to see that it was true and there was nothing more I could do about it.

It was with me in senior pictures, prom, challenge, first day of school, significant events….you name it. In memory of my watch I have put together a small sampling of pictures this watch has been in since it was almost always with me. You may have to look carefully(you should be able to click on these for a closer look), but it’s there.  

the late great watch…
         my wrist is so lonely without it …

and my slightly over dramatic cry session…..

basically- I need some love.

and a watch. 

 This, my friends, is the car (that breaks down all the time) lovingly called rae-rae, ralphie, gary, ernie, airplane, baby….and everthing else you might call a car. It’s the place that I think in constantly (also sing, pray, and dance in, sometimes even yell or cry in). 

Today, one of things I thought about was why we put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve certain things. In the end, it really won’t matter what I got on my ACT or how many friends call me to hang out on the weekends. Next year alone will show that all of that from high school really didn’t matter, and I know this all too well having moved a few times. Nobody cares how  you were before or what you did. If you were popular…so what? If you were constantly being made fun of for a mistake you made in junior high….who cares?

So this is how my thought process started. It’s amazing how quickly our minds can jump from thing to thing isn’t it? But then I started thinking about things outside of high school. So you go to college- the whole focus is to graduate within a certain amount of time so you can find a decent job one day. Some people will also focus on finding a spouse.

Then what? Well, then you have a job, and maybe you got married. Then what? It’s time to start saving money up for a house and/or other worldly possessions. Okay, then what? Maybe look for some sort of promotion at work. And then? Hmm, maybe have a few kids. Then what? Well, it’s time to start saving more money for those kids because they can get real expensive and fast. Following that, you are just waiting for the day that they can talk, and then the day they can drive themselves places so you don’t have to, the day they move out, and the day they get married and get a job. Once you have all of that behind you “you’ve made it.” You live your life through your children and their children. Then you wait for the day you get to retire. After that you basically wait until the day you die and loved ones die. 

It’s as if all we are ever doing is waiting until we get to the next step in our lives and can’t wait to get out. Even in high school, “oh, I can’t wait to go to college”…and then so on and so forth.  Why? Why do we do it? It makes sense when the Bible says “Utterly Meaningless! Everything is Meaningless!” (Ecclesiastes 1:2) The chapter is really cool, but can be difficult to understand at first (or maybe it was just me that struggled with the concept) It almost sounds depressing to admit that you are just chasing after the wind and will not even be remembered for it. You will never “get there” so to speak. Our culture portrays this dream of being successful and satisfied, when in truth, you won’t be satisfied that way at all. Ever. This chapter in Ecclesiastes kinda lays it all out and says, “no, it’s meaningless, because you will never get to that point you keep running after.” Because guess what? That point doesn’t even exist, you just think it does.

This purpose of this chapter in the Bible really isn’t to be discouraging. It is just telling you to stop getting caught up in things that won’t matter in a few weeks, a few months, or a few years. There is absolutely no reason to. The only thing to make sure you have is God in your life.

All of this, I thought about while driving, and it wasn’t even that long of a drive. Then I questioned aloud, (seriously, people in cars next to me must think I am crazy) “What purpose is there to living if you don’t have God? How can someone even have the strength to go on without Him? I can’t even imagine that.” How can people live a life that is meaningless? The only thing truly meaningful in my life is God. Everything else is temporary and will eventually be destroyed. That just blows my mind, the idea of being without God. How empty.  That is when I thought to myself, I am definitely blessed. Then I thought, ugh, all of those people without Him.  No, I don’t want them to go on living thinking that there wasn’t anything else to life than the meaningless things. That would be awful.

And that is what I thought about in my car today on my way home from work.

So I went to school this morning with a terrible stomach ache the whole time. Didn’t really say much about it and hoped it would go away. Nope- still here. By the time lunch rolled around I basically power walked it to my car and quickly drove home. Called my mom and asked to call school, because there was no way I could go back.

For awhile I kinda laid on the couch. Felt a tiny bit better around 3:00 so I decided to go to work. Tons of work got done today (YAY!) and I even got to go home early. (Yess!) This was wonderful, because guess what? It had gotten worse again. Now I am home, missing the pumpkin party because my stomach hurts so much.

This truly is a bummer.  I’m so tired of these. Make it stop.

“17″ was my reply as I tried to focus on other things than the needles being poked in my arm.

“Oh my goodness! I didn’t think you were that old!” exclaimed the friendly nurse. (She was SUPER nice. I liked her a lot actually, she was very considerate of my fear of the usual terrible bruise after she took my blood. She even used a smaller needle for me. ) 

(Gee thanks) “How old did you think I was?”

“Oh I don’t know, younger. You just look so sweet and innocent”  

Okay, I’m going to decide that just for her, I will let this one slide. Is this supposed to be taken as a compliment or an insult…and then is it directed toward me or toward society? Most teenagers like to look their age if not a little older. Why is this? In about 20 years we’ll all wish we looked a little younger.  That part could be the insult, but then saying I look sweet and innocent is a compliment to some degree right? Yeah, probably. Why is it that because I look “sweet/innocent” I look younger. This could be considered an insult toward all of society because she is almost implying that the older you are, the less innocent/more worldly or corrupt you get. Sad. Later, when we were talking about colleges she went on to say she has a 17  year old daughter. I had to stifle a giggle and thought to myself So, is she a little more corrupt looking than me?  Thankfully, before I spurt out my latest thoughts I realized that I still had a needle in me, one that she had in her hands. This would leave me in serious pain if she did not find the comment quite as funny as I did. Yeah, I kept my mouth shut.   

Today was even funnier though.

The ultrasound technician comes in and said quickly that she wanted us to move to a room down the hall to be done faster. As we were walking there she expressed her sympathy about not being able to eat by adding lots of random comments “Oh aren’t you just starving? I always’s think it’s not so bad but when you tell me not to eat…oh whew! It’s sooo hard!”

Upon arriving in the other office she looks at me and said to leave my things (homework, backpack, coat) with my mother. Of course, those of you who know my mother would not be surprised to hear that she replied with “Can I come with to watch? Wouldn’t that be okay?”

The nurse gave a half worried look to me then turned to my mother and said, “Well, do you know what you’re looking for?” Yeah, this got my mom and with that the nurse turned signaling me to follow down the hall making random “woop” noises at each turn. Once out of earshot of my mom she turned to me and said, “I don’t like it when parents come in. They ask too many questions and I don’t know the answer; I’m not a doctor. I’ll pay ya a few bucks not to tell your mom.”

I’m thinking to myself hahahhaa who the heck is this lady? She is hilarious! as we got in the room. She had me lie on the little cot thing. -Timeout- for those of you who haven’t figured this out yet: I got an ultrasound done because I am having problems with my stomach and they haven’t really figured out what is wrong with me. Okay, back to the story- she has this bottle of “goop” as she called it that is the size of glue bottle that she is shaking up. She told me it was going to be really hot, which it was, and also super weird feeling.

I never would have guessed I would have an ultrasound before I was pregnant. I was not really planning on having kids anytime soon either, at the least,  ten years from now, and after I’m married. Even that is rather soon to be having children. So basically, I had no idea what to expect, nor what the heck to look at on the screen. There really was nothing to see as far as I could tell, except a bunch of random black spots and odd looking white blotches. —-boring—-

As we were making small talk I spurted out some of my thoughts (no needles were present so I didn’t use as much caution) “So, are you going to print out a picture for me? Because that would be pretty sweet.”

The technician burst out laughing and for about five minutes we just laughed and added random silly comments that made no sense. “Yeah, that’d be good to hang on the fridge” “You could go show your friends your ’baby’ only it wouldn’t be there” There were more but I think we’ll just leave it at that. We seriously laughed until we cried. (I’m sure you had to be there)  It was extremely difficult for her to keep moving the little thing on my tummy, because we were laughing so hard.  

We talked about other stuff and laughed some more. It really was the highlight of my day. About a half hour later it was done and over with. She took me escorted me back to the waiting room and then cheered, “Now you can eat, drink, and be merry! Woo!” This made smile, while my mom raised an eyebrow.

We concluded the afternoon by eating (finally) at Qdoba before I headed back for my last class in school. My tummy felt really cold and wet the rest of the day…that “goop” was so strange. She never did print off a picture for me, bummer. I kinda wanted one just for kicks and giggles. Results will come back in a few days. I’m kinda hoping that they do find something, because that way they can fix it. Otherwise, more tests. More funny nurses though, too : )

This is my face showing my true feelings regarding this…

This week is definitely way too busy. Not even sure what to do with myself. Why am I typing this right now instead of doing all of those  things you ask? Oh, I don’t know. Because I really do not want to go to it. Okay, look into my life for a moment here: I have oodles and oodles of make up work to do from being gone so much last week (sick + doctor’s appt + business conference = practically no school) Another doctor’s appointment tomorrow, which means I can’t even eat breakfast! LAME! Breakfast is my favorite! Some more school stuff: In anatomy we are doing some sort of something that deals with pig skinning (ew), but I’ve been gone and am not quite sure what is going on. Three different tests within the next three days - AP Spanish, AP Psychology, and AP Government. Research paper was due today…I am maybe 1/5 done? College Fair tonight, after work and before FCA. I should probably clean my room…however, the chances of that happening are very slim. Oh yeah - work all week will be crazy busy because she was gone most of last week so now she has me write HUNDREDS of follow-up letters to all the people she met with at the conferences/seminars she taught at. I need to schedule more college visits and order senior pictures. Meetings of the week: Spanish National Honor Society, Senior/Counselor Meeting, Meeting with Maharry Photography and Elements Salon about Ad Sales, and also meet with Middle School teacher about Tutoring. The Great Pumpkin party is Wednesday and Thursday of this week and then a “Fall Holiday Costume Party” is on Saturday - all of which I need to find some sort of costume for. The ACT is on Saturday morning which I basically HAVE to get a 30 on, because that is the only reason I am taking it again. (note to self: remember calculator) Goodness, and those are just the things I could remember offhand. Why does the world go around so quickly? I feel as though I hardly have time to catch my breath! Why is everything in our society have such a rushed feel to it?

Does anyone else see this as a hard concept to grasp sometimes? We’ve all heard it. Most of us have probably even said it. It’s supposed to be that “cure-all” advice. “I’m scared to meet new people” (be yourself) “Nobody likes me” (be yourself) “I don’t know what to do” (be yourself) “I’m really nervous about this job interview” (be yourself) okay, so maybe those were lame examples, but it’s late, and I am tired.

Be Yourself. That is just so hard sometimes. How much of me is really me? When I am not “being myself” then who am I being? What if I don’t like certain things about myself? Should I still be like that? Is improvement considered not being yourself? What makes people think I am not being myself? What if their view of me “being myself” is not me at all? What if when they tell me to start acting like “myself” I already am “being myself”, then how should I be? Another question- what if who I used to be is not who I am now…which is the “real” me? Can there be multiple ways to be myself or only one?

Confusion. You’d think that something that sounds so simple wouldn’t be this difficult to understand. Perhaps I am overthinking it, but you would too if you were constantly told to “just be yourself.”

Lately, I’ve noticed how oblivious we are to things.  When you are a kid, it’s typical to question everything and anything. Why is it that once you get older we don’t care enough to learn about things just for the heck of it? Sure, we learn the things we are told we need to learn- things in school, at work, etc. but what happens to that curiosity we once had?

 ”The greatest thing since sliced bread!” How often have you heard that phrase, or maybe even used it yourself? But do you know anything about it? Did you know that Otto Rohwedder, the guy who invented it, was from Davenport, Iowa? He wasn’t even a baker. He was a jeweler that owned three jewlery stores in Missouri, until 1916 when he sold those to finance his future moment of brillance.  

Before that could happen, all of his blueprints for the bread slicer machine were burned in a fire at the factory a year later. In 1928 the machine was completed and he had something to show for all of this hard work. The only problem was that he was laughed at by most all of the bakers for this idea, and they thought the bread would go stale. It wasn’t until his son helped market the sliced bread that it was taken seriously. July 7, 1928 was the first day that bread was sliced and packaged commercially by his machine. Now Otto Rohwedder will be forever known as “the father of sliced bread.”

My english teacher would probably tell me I need a follow up/conclusion paragraph here. I don’t really want to though. I personally found the whole story to be incredibly interesting. Sliced bread is something we’ve heard about and used for so long but never really stopped to learn much about. It makes me want to learn about tons of other random things.  

Otto Rehwedder

Other than the usual teenage girl’s mountain of clothes on the floor, my room is relatively organized in the way that I find acceptable. Or at least it was until I began to accumulate more mail than you could imagine. Countless letters come in each day from various colleges. What I want to know is how did they find me and my address? Why do they keep sending me mail? Most of these I have never even heard of! I still have yet to decide which school to attend so I feel as though most of them should not be thrown away at the moment, just in case. Lately, my new hobby in efforts to clean up my e-mail account a little bit has been to write a reply that looks a little like this:
Dear (college),
I have no idea who you are or how you got my information, but perhaps I should inform you of my not being interested in your school right now. Please stop sending all e-mails as I delete them anyway. Thank you for understanding! Sincerely,
Samantha Carlson, class of 2007

To give you a better feel for the amount of mail I receive let me list off for you all of the different schools that have sent me something in the last two weeks or so.  Here it goes: Maryville University, Oral Roberts University, Indiana Wesleyan University, Evangel University, Eastern University, Tulane University, Southeastern University, Central College, William Penn University, Bethel College, Mount Mercy College, Truman State University, Dordt College, University of Kansas, University of Northern Iowa, Kentucky Christian University, Barclay College, Austin Peay State University, Missouri Western State University, Vanguard University, Bryan College,  Coe College, College of William and Mary, Union University, Illinois Institute of Technology, Purdue University, Gordon College, Arizona State University, Liberty University, Wheaton College, Elmhurst College, Long Island University,LeTourneau University, Calvin College, James Madison University, University of Tulsa, Concordia University, Mount Mercy College, Abilene Christian University, and of course the U.S. Army sent a letter to recruit me as well.  

Those were all within the last few weeks, not to mention hundreds of others. I receive a minimum of four a day. On top of that I have papers upon papers about scholarships. Plus homework and all the papers and reminders about classes needed before graduation. It’s no wonder my room is in a shambles.