Articulations from the Extroverted Introvert

In the past year I have slowly (emphasis on slowly) found a small piece of independence that had not been granted before now. Our culture lives by independence and really only considers you an adult once a certain level of independence has been obtained.  Ever since I was a little girl, independence was all I wanted. It seemed to be so “mature” that of course it was desirable to a girl like me. My mom always tells me the worst part of my childhood was skipping the being a child part. I wanted to surge into adulthood and would rather talk to those older than those my own age.

Now, I have these little snippets of independence. For the most part, that’s great, and I want to see more of it. There are other parts that are not exactly fun, but I can handle it at the moment. Then there are these things that I never want to have to make the decision. I thought I did, but now I have completely changed my mind.

Everyone blames the president and other leaders for the downfalls. They all have their opinions on how it would be better. But a tremendously small percentage of those who complain and “could do it better” actually run for office. My life and the decisions within it seem to be similar to this.

I’ve spent plenty of time whining about the decisions that have been made for me, but now I would almost rather have no say than say something about which I have a very limited knowledge. I have no idea what to do with what I’m supposed to do. What makes anyone think I have the remotest clue about how to handle issues which I would rather never confront. I want to avoid the things I am unsure about how to handle. I absolutely hate learning the hard way. I would much rather now have someone make decisions of which I can complain about later if it does not prove successful. It’s not like that though; I am who will face the effects of my decisions. Hello World.

Sometimes I think of things during the day and decide that they would be a splendid blog topics. This may seem rather nerdy of me but whatever. Other times, I sit down at the computer and just start. I type and type until I no longer have anything left to type. Either that or I type until I exhaust a few different thoughts and find myself subcategorizing others to continue in this line of thinking. It is a curious thing what becomes of my misconbobulated thoughts that are racing through my mind.

I make many observations throughout the day. My boss mentioned this to me the other day as we were discussing different things. Perhaps blogs are just this final outburst of all the things I think about and store away for safekeeping.

If we allow the silence to reach us, we find so many other noises in the silence. If we sit still, we realize all the other things moving around us. If we don’t force anything a certain way, we see what happens without us and come to the realization that we do not need to constantly be in control. If we change our surroundings, we begin to understand different perspectives. If we go without certain things that consume us, we find the depth of importance it holds.

In this time of life, we have so many things available to us, and so many things demanding our attention. As technology such as the microwave and television first started to evolve, the prediction was that people of the future would have so much taken care of instantly that they would be bored. That was to be the biggest probem facing youngsters today. Instead, the problem always seems to be “not enough time”. We cram so many things into our days and don’t stop to think or wonder. It’s as if we keep moving in our fast paced lives we think we can avoid actually considering what needs to be given thought. We block out our own thoughts and imagination with music (the thoughts of others), television/movies (the visions of others), the internet/computer (the inventions of others), books (the words of others), and social events (others).

In time, I come to this realization and stop. I leave the phone in a place where it cannot reach me. I turn off the music. I step away from the computer. I just sit and think. Then I return to the computer to blog about it.

Summer is here. How do we know? Some might say it is because school is out and all through the country children shout and cheer because summer vacation is finally here! But, that’s not how we know. The true sign is the bug.   There are three main summer time bugs that pester us until we are begging for fall.

The first is the Cotinus nitida  or more commonly called June Bug or June Beetle (and sometimes, in regions other than the Midwest, they can be referred to as the Japanese Beetle..don’t ask me why). If  the name wasn’t enough of a hint, they often begin to appear in June or maybe late May. While largely harmless, is also large in size as well as in volume.  A terrible nuisance they are. June bugs are also ridiculously ugly. You just want to get them away from you, however have no idea to kill them for fear of the disgusting crunching sound that may follow.

A favorite bug in the summer among the children is the lightning bug or firefly (real name: Photuris pyralis). This seems to be one that signifies staying up late - until dark that is, when parents allow their children to run around after 9 p.m. in order to let them cherish a “nice” childhood memory they once held. This is all fine and dandy, until one of these sweet energy-filled children smell their hands. “EWW!” they cry, while running toward their parents as if to blame them for ever allowing such a thing to occur.  The children not bothered by the smell proceed to pull off the little lights from the bugs in order to place in one their ears and hands and whatever else apparently needs a firefly butt for decoration.  By the end of the summer, all that is left of the lightning bug population is the tiny withered bodies, forgotten and left in the jars without air to die. Gee, how nice.

Lastly, the most infamous of them all - the mosquito (scientific name varies as there are so stinking many of them). The word mosquito comes from a combination of words meaning “little fly” and “long-legged” from Spanish origins, however they have also have a variety of names of Scandinavian descent.  The mosquito, as we have all experienced, sucks the blood out of humans and animals, and basically anything that has blood. They are fully capable of transmitting harmful diseases such as yellow fever, malaria, and dengue. Even if you are able to avoid the disease, a painfully itchy bump will emanate upon an area of skin that was once owned by you. Now, times have changed and the spot owns you as you continue to scratch at it, willing yourself to forget about it before reaching at it just once more to etch around it to trick your mind into thinking you no longer need to tear your skin apart to stop the itching!

Yes, summer is here. It is here, indeed.  Fun, fun, fun.