“Sometimes I’d rather dwell in the darkness”

Fluorescent lights are the worst things EVER. The piercing brightness never fades. If I were a violent person, I think I would go around smashing every single one in sight. Then there would be no light, because that is all this campus is made of! Every single classroom, bathroom, dorm room, staircase, and hallway. My dorm room alone is complete with three of the wretched things. It is amazing to what extent I am willing to go out of my way in order to prevent exposure to them.

Each morning, I rush to open the curtains to get the morning sunlight and avoid going over to flip the switch (and also to ensure that my plant stays alive, but that’s a different story). I will not turn on the fluorescent grossness, even if it means I hide in a corner to maintain my dignity while changing with the window open (we are on the fifth floor so it’s not like everyone can see). I have brought two additional lamps of my own to turn on if the sunlight is not enough. I have explicitly stated to my roommate to turn on my lamps at any time, because I hate the alternative.

In class I say to whoever is next to me how much it bugs me (Yeah, I have no idea why they are friends with me, much less, continue to sit next to me. Why are any of you my friend? I’m stinkin’ weird.) I think I may have yelled (but not in a mean tone) at my roommate for turning the nasty thing on at least a dozen times. Why must I be surrounded by this awful thing constantly?

I honestly get headaches if I am subjected to such a sight for even a short period of time. Don’t you know that flashing them causes seizures to children? I kid you not. (I’m a nerd and have looked up some info to back up this argument) Research concludes that students perform better in school if under full-spectrum bulbs. Also, increased suicide rates are often linked to fluorescent lights. Other risks include cancer, depression, ADD, and sleep disorders. You are in fact twice as likely to get skin cancer of overexposure from fluorescent lights than from the sun.

I love the environment, really I do, but I don’t care whatsoever that they use less energy. They are SICK. The glare, oh the glare! It’s blinding! Please, do yourself a favor and get real light bulbs for the people you love. They’ll love you back.

Lyrics from Light Switch by Jaime Wyatt